Johnny Borrell, the rakish front-man of noughties rock band, Razorlight, has been squatting impatiently in abandoned Mayfair flats, whimsically hoping for the day the vapid decade is reminisced as: ‘not as shit as we thought whilst living in it.’

‘Look what happened with the eighties,’ he told us, speaking from a yellowed mattress and surrounded by empty Pringles tubes. ‘And now the nineties. That decade was just as shit as the two-thousands. Now even Texas are making a comeback. Texas!’

‘We’re just waiting for nostalgia to kick in so people in their mid-thirties forget whether they liked us or not in the first place. We’ve started a Facebook page with The Kooks called, “I heart the 00’s”, but ‘heart’ is written as an emoticon, like a cartoon drawing of a heart, you know?’

‘The day Urban Outfitters stock Von Dutch caps will be our Bat Signal. Then we’ll know… we’re back in business boys.’

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